..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
