So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
