dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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