I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You can't just leave with hair like that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how does that bad decision feel?
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