I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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