it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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