As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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