On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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