Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
be right there i have to get my cape
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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