Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
