I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
