so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
