i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
