hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
