Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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