I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
