Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
