Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
