He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
