Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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