Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
