How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
