i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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