hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
