the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
