lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
