I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it hurts more in the daytime
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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