ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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