I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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