The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
