Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
