You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
