My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
