why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
