I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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