hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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