I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
