bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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