That's intense
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
