Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
