I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
