We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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