no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
