Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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