i think i have herpe
just one?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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