She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
