so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I DEMAND FORESKIN
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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