AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
