I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
