Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
